The Captain of Nothing

Themes: Comedy, Contemporary, Power, Reality, Rejection
Length: 1 Minute
Gender: Male

The character, a teenage boy, paces in frustration on a basketball court, occasionally glancing at his teammates who are distracted and indifferent to his attempts to lead. His voice fluctuates between anger and disillusionment.

I thought being team captain would mean something, you know? Like, I’d finally have some respect, a little bit of power—just a taste. But nah, turns out it’s just a fancy title that comes with a busted whistle and more headaches. I mean, they voted for me, right? I didn’t bribe anyone with candy bars or promise to throw the next game, I earned this. But does anyone listen? Nope. First practice, I try to get the team hyped, and Ryan’s over there, laughing like I’m a clown in a circus. ‘Oh, here comes Coach Junior,’ he says. And everyone’s looking at me, waiting for my comeback, but what am I supposed to say? ‘Yes, Ryan, you got me. I’m Coach Junior, captain of a bunch of dudes who’d rather scroll TikTok than run drills.’ I’m trying to be serious, set a tone, but the moment I open my mouth, I’m just… dismissed. Like I’m invisible or something. They keep on doing their own thing, barely paying attention, and I’m standing there with my stupid clipboard, like, ‘This is it? This is what being in charge feels like?’ A total joke. No one cares about my plays, my strategies. They just want to get through practice and hit the showers. And it’s not just the team, it’s Coach too. He’s all ‘figure it out’ when stuff goes sideways, like I’m supposed to magically fix everything. But the minute I make a decision, he’s there to shoot it down. So yeah, I’m the captain, but of what? A sinking ship? A team that doesn’t even care if we win or lose? I thought this would be different. I thought it would mean respect, leadership. But all I’m feeling is the weight of this stupid whistle around my neck and the sting of rejection every time I try to step up.